Something I always wanted to do was record the audio of our party chat sessions. How much more I wish we had done so now that one of our raggedy ass gang is gone.
I have been wanting to acknowledge our loss on the site somehow, but I don’t think I will ever figure out a good way to do that. Still, we (or at least I) cannot just let Grymmie’s passing go without saying something here.
This morning, I discovered a pattern in my thinking and activities. I have been, and am, intentionally avoiding thinking about him, and purposefully keeping my day busy. As I mentioned to most of you, for the entire first day upon hearing the news, I felt like I had been kicked in the chest by a horse. I don’t feel that all the time now, but I do almost every time my thoughts go back to him, which is often. I know that grief for all of us is right near the surface, even if it doesn’t manifest in words or tears.
I chose the video above from all of his collection because it has him speaking. His music is great, but his voice is infinitely better. If anyone comes across one with him laughing, please let me know and I will swap it in. As I wrote to Grymm’s Mom (via Steph), Grymmie was the ice cream man in so many ways. No one could use those spikey coned ‘nades like him. He was also the one with the laugh that lit up the party. When the game ripped him off, he could rage quit with the best of them. But he wouldn’t rage at us, just at the game. And when he was having fun, his laughter was the clearest, most genuine, splashy waterfall of merriment I know. More often than not, the joy of hearing him laugh brought out a spontaneous “I love you, Grymmie!” I always meant it. Missin’ you, buddy!
Our thoughts and love go out to his family and friends.
P.S. I want people to feel free to write or not write anything here. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time. I was not ready to do this earlier this week, and I suspect some of you may not be ready to add comments now, or maybe even ever. That is ok.
P.P.S. For those that want to leave a message for Josh & his family, you can do so at this link: http://slaterfuneral.tributes.com/show/102901084