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History Channel: The Bible miniseries

March 1, 2013

If you ever wanted to know what is in that famous Book, but didn’t want to bother to read it, check out the History Channel’s The Bible. It starts on the 3rd of March and ends on Easter Sunday. Judging by this preview, this miniseries may be one of the better film depictions of the source material.

As a small aside, I couldn’t help but notice that they presented Goliath without a helmet and not apparently not very big. Xerxes from Zach Snyder’s 300 would be just about the right size for Goliath. They also might have taken a lesson from Stephen Spielberg. The Bible pulls no punches when it comes to violence and that stone didn’t bounce off Goliath’s forehead. It sunk right in. These are the parts of the story I read with wide eyes when I was a boy (and still do as a man).

And a champion went out from the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, from Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span (almost 10 feet). He had a bronze helmet on his head, and he was armed with a coat of mail, and the weight of the coat was five thousand shekels of bronze (126lbs). And he had bronze armor on his legs and a bronze javelin between his shoulders. Now the staff of his spear was like a weaver’s beam, and his iron spearhead weighed six hundred shekels (about 15lbs); and a shield-bearer went before him.
…Then David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth.
(1 Samuel 17 from The New King James Bible with measurement equivalents taken from The Message)

  1. March 1, 2013 6:37 am

    This is very interesting, the Bible always tends to get terrible Hollywood interpretations. I will probably wait for the whole series to be released before I watch it (I have become THAT spoiled now with streaming services).

    This also makes me want to re-watch 300. What a fun movie!

    • March 1, 2013 2:22 pm

      I’ve been wanting to was 300 again, too. We’re learning about the Spartans and Xerxes now in my Western Civilization class and it’s been too long since I’ve watched 300.

  2. March 6, 2013 7:56 am

    Not so sure about this series….. Looks well produced, but they are taking liberties with the story. For example: The two angels in Sodom went dual sword Ninja on everyone. They must have killed 50 people as they escorted Lot and his family out of the city.

    • March 6, 2013 3:13 pm

      Bwahahaha! Did you watch the first episode then?

      It amazes me that anyone feels the need to embellish the biblical accounts. Too bad.

    • March 7, 2013 11:01 am

      Yeah, I watched part of the first one (until the “Sword scene”…)

      I have the rest of the series on my dvr schedule. I’ll give it another look, but after watching the “Samurai Sam” episode, I’m not too hopeful that this is a Legit Series.

      The moments of God and Abraham also have a lot of tension. Not really feeling the close relationship they developed over the years.

  3. March 6, 2013 10:21 pm

    From the producer that brought you Survivor, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, and Bully Beatdown. Among many, many other “reality” shows.

    • March 6, 2013 10:28 pm

      Oh, and he cast his wife as Mother Mary.

      Though I suppose she could’ve brought him into the project, since it is definitely outside of his oeuvre.

  4. March 7, 2013 1:27 pm

    History channel is clearly trying to catch up with AMC, HBO and Showtime. The Bible didn’t interest me too much so I didn’t pay any attention to it, but I watched the first episode of Vikings and wasn’t impressed. It just doesn’t seem natural, especially with the way these “vikings” acted.. You can tell History is trying to ‘push the boundaries’ with the mediocre violence and edgy characters, but little do they know, that boundary has been long gone with the sights of Heisenberg, Rick Grimes, and among many others.

    I think History should just stick a knife in it while they can. I don’t see these shows really flourishing, especially with the new seasons of Game of Thrones and Breaking Bad coming up.

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